Does a man have to be old, annoying and curmudgeonly before he gives up strippers and the stripping scene?
Or will a champagne bottle cracked over his head make him see the light?
I’m 61 years old and have no use for strippers, strip clubs or stripper parties.
Jacoby Jones, a wide receiver and kick returner for the Baltimore Ravens, is only 29.
Last season, Jones caught a game-tying touchdown pass in a crucial Ravens playoff win over the Denver Broncos. He also caught a touchdown pass in the Ravens’ Super Bowl XLVII victory over the San Francisco 49ers.
By every measure, Jones had an outstanding 2012 season. His 2013 season has begun, to say the least, a lot less auspiciously.
In the Ravens season opener against the Broncos, Jones hurt his knee after a collision with one of his own teammates. It was the kind of freak injury you’d expect a Ravens player to get in a game where Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning torched them with a record-tying seven touchdown passes.
Jones was recovering from his knee injury earlier this week, when he decided to board a party bus with strippers.
A fracas broke out. According to news reports, a stripper creased Jones across the head with a champagne bottle.
Yes, Jones is the guy mentioned above who should learn from this incident. The truth is, all men can learn from it.
Fellas, nothing good comes of attending strip clubs and strip parties. Yes, many of us – the straight ones among us, anyway – have gotten that thrill from having gorgeous, scandalous, nearly butt-naked hoochies shake their hineys in our faces.
But the novelty of that kind of wears off after the first time.
The downside of the stripper/stripping scene is worse than any upside, and there’s only one upside: that would be the aforementioned gorgeous, scandalous, nearly butt-naked hoochies shaking their hineys in our faces.
That upside isn’t worth dealing with the downside, or, more accurately, the downsides.
Remember Sean Bell’s tragic shooting in New York City back in 2006?
It was Nov. 25. Bell, who was supposed to be married the next day, attended a bachelor party at the Kalua Cabaret Strip Club.
Would Bell have been there had he known NYPD undercover cops were investigating allegations of drug offenses and prostitution at the joint?